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11.1.20

11.1.20

It's Sunday. There are TWO FREAKING DAYS until the presidential election. Fauci brings a dire warning, Trump encourages more violence as things start getting scary and Democrats bring the thunder.

Note: Excuse us for one second. (Takes a long rip off a bong at way too early in the day to be smoking weed o'clock) How are y'all… wait… excuse us for another minute. (Takes a bottle of xanax and drinks it like a shot) Sorry about that. Now where were we? Oh right… We're sorry. Just give us one more second. (Takes a long inhale off a paper bag filled with model airplane glue). Ok, we're good now. So good. How are y'all holding up with just TWO FUCKING DAYS to go? Yeah, we're totally cool too. We always smell like model airplane glue, and we don't know why you're looking at us like that. Ever seen a cucumber? Then you've seen something that's not as cool as us. We're fine. We're totally fine. WE'RE FINE. Ok, so maybe we're not fine. Maybe we're anxious messes watching fascism thrive in America while George Stephanoplous makes it a cup of tea and gives it a foot rub. Hell, if you're not anxious, what's wrong with you? We're kidding. Sure we're pooping ourselves, but no more than usual. We actually feel pretty good about where things are. Yeah, we've got a puddle of ass sweat going that could be officially named a lake, but we love our candidates and we have some faith left in this country. So instead of smoking PCP bath salts for the next 48 hours, we're going to make calls and texts. It's just a better use of our nervous energy and rarely results in us waking up in the neighbor's dog house with new facial tattoos. More: Media Matters

Note two: If you're freaking out, that means you care. And that's a good thing. It's also the reason we still have faith in this country — because of you. Also, don't do drugs or some shit. 

Note three: Now here's something to celebrate. Two quintessential American badasses — Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird — got engaged this weekend. CONGRATULATIONS! Man, we sure wish we were friends with them. Do you think they need a new newsletter friend? We won't stray from the registry, we promise.

Note four: Well the good news just keeps coming. They're bringing back the McRib?! Y'all we might be becoming optimists. More: CNN

Note five: Nope, fuck that optimism bullshit. Here are a couple of stories about how Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook have put their thumb on the scales for Trump. This little shit must really be banking on us losing. More: Washington Post, Washington Post II

Note six: Oh now this is a fun story. More: Reuters

Note seven: This is not. And it scares the living hell out of us. More: New York Times

Note eight: Lindsey, Lindsey, Lindsey. How is it possible that someone who has spent the last four years as Trump's third butt cheek can still manage to get worse even at the last minute? If you haven't seen ol' Lindsey's take on women, please do click on this link. More: Raw Story

Note nine: These early voting numbers are insane. They also don't tell us jack shit. So keep GOTVing until you can't GOTV anymore! More: New York Times

Note 10: Ok, party people. We're gonna cut the notes short-ish today. We don't want to eat up too much of your Sunday, and we want you back out there GOTVing like some motherfuckers. Take some deep, sexy breaths. You're doing the damn thing. You're fighting for your country. It's scary as hell, and we don't know what's gonna happen. But if we go down, let's go down swinging. We love y'all. Now let's kick some ass!

Trump v. Fauci

Yeah, the White House and their idiot tv doctor are attacking Dr. Fauci again, blasting him for breaking nomrs (that's seriously what they said) by telling the Washington Post that the U.S. is in the worst possible position imaginable when it comes to the pandemic. Fauci dropped some serious truth bombs about the White House handling of the virus and Fox doctor Scott Atlas's bullshit. Atlast, who did an interview with Russia Today yesterday, then took to twitter to subtweet Dr. Fauci like a lamer version of Trump. This comes as Trump continues to hold super spreader rallies and the U.S. became the first country to hit 100,000 cases in one day. Will America live or die? Well, we're gonna find out. More: Washington Post, Vox

Deplorable

Have you seen the videos of the Trumpers trying to run the Biden bus off the road in Texas? Have you seen the video of Trump praising them? What about North Carolina? Did you see the sheriff's office there pepper-spraying children and a person in a wheelchair? If you've answered yes to any of these, then you've seen a preview of the next four years under Trump. Fascism has come to America. Are we gonna let it stay? More: Washington Post, News Observer, Axios, Texas Tribune

Yasssss

We can't decide what we liked more. On the one hand, you had Joe Biden making fun of Trump for being Putin's "puppy." And on the other hand you had President Obama making fun of him for his crowd size obsession and asking if nobody came to Trump's birthday parties when he was a kid. And then he capped it off by nailing a three-pointer and making us feel better until that Iowa poll came out. Yeah, our people are bringing the heat in the closing days, and we love it. Also, the press doesn't talk about it for some reason, but do y'all realize we're just a couple of days away from Kamala becoming the first woman, the first Black woman, the first Black Asian woman to be vice president?! If we're ever allowed a moment to stop sweating bullets, then that's something we're really gonna have to celebrate. More: CNN, Detroit News, Politico

Today's clips

Federal judges nominated by President Trump have largely ruled against efforts to loosen voting rules in the 2020 campaign amid the coronavirus pandemic and sided with Republicans seeking to enforce restrictions, underscoring Trump's impact in reshaping the judiciary.
More: Washington Post

The Associated Press, one of several news organizations whose declarations of winners drive election coverage, is pulling back the curtain this year to explain how it is reaching those conclusions.
More: Associated Press

Four years ago, America elected its first billionaire president. Since then, the nation's 200-or-so wealthiest people -- a cohort representing 0.00006% of the population -- have increased their combined wealth by a staggering $1 trillion.
More: Bloomberg

A federal judge has ordered the U.S. Postal Service to take "extraordinary measures" to deliver ballots in time to be counted in Wisconsin and around Detroit, including using a priority mail service.
More: Associated Press

For months, Trump has obliterated the lines between campaigning and governing, and he and his aides have accelerated their drive to leverage the power of the presidency to shore up his election chances with days left before Tuesday's vote. Trailing in the polls to Democratic nominee Joe Biden, Trump has employed an all-hands-on-deck approach to maintaining the office, dispatching aides to act as surrogates and using the government's machinery to bolster his campaign.
More: Washington Post

As Floridians rush to vote in the presidential election, mail ballots from Black, Hispanic and younger voters are being flagged for problems at a higher rate than they are for other voters, potentially jeopardizing their participation in the race for the country's largest battleground state.
More: Washington Post

For months, Republicans have pushed largely unsuccessfully to limit new avenues for voting in the midst of the pandemic. But with next week's election rapidly approaching, they have shifted their legal strategy in recent days to focus on tactics aimed at challenging ballots one by one, in some cases seeking to discard votes already cast during a swell of early voting.
More: Washington Post

 

 













 

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