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Happy Friday. There are 18 days until the presidential election. The White House got a heads up that Rudy was working for Russia, Trump tells California to go to hell and America gets a split screen for the ages.

Note: Hello there, beautiful patriotic people. Congratulations on making it through another week in Trumpland. And if you're Mercedes Schlaap, please keep talking. If you don't know Mercedes is one of the Trump trash who goes on tv to say stupid shit in service of Dear Leader. And like the rest of Trumpland, she's reeeaaaallly fucking bad at her job. In fact, last night, she took to twitter to gift the press corps the perfect comparison for last night's dueling townhalls when she described Joe Biden as Mister Rogers. So we have to assume the Trump people are such scum that they hate Mister Rogers. Ok fine, no problem. But as we watched Joltin' Joe last night, we didn't see Mister Rogers. We saw Dalton from Road House. If you've never seen the brilliant 1989 Patrick Swayze film then please just bear with us. Swayze plays a professional bar bouncer, or cooler, who goes from town to town with his medical records and his philosophy degree from NYU, and he cleans up bars and kicks a lot of ass. But Dalton does not go looking for violence. No, no. In fact, Dalton has three rules, and the third is "Be nice." No matter how much crap you're taking from the drunken shit-kicker bar patron, be nice. And that is what Biden has done. They've come after him, his family, his career, and he has responded by being nice. Now Joey ain't the type to rip someone's throat out in a creek, but he is definitely our Dalton. That said, we can live with the Mister Rogers thing. It's way better than what everyone is calling Trump. Thanks, Mercedes! More: YouTube, The Daily Beast

Note two: Ok, that was not our best. Maybe we just wanted to talk about Road House, which we are definitely watching tonight.

Note three: So is Dianne Feinstein more Trumper than Ben Sasse? What's that? Oh, they both suck? Yeah, we agree. Hang it up, DiFi. You're a disaster. More: Washington Examiner, Washington Post

Note four: We had some unfortunate typos yesterday, so we need to make one thing very clear — Ice Cube can go fuck himself. We've been giving that asshole our money since middle school, and he pulls this stupid shit? Way to hitch your wagon to someone who's polling 10 points down, genius. More: Politico

Note five: Don't look now, but one of Rudy's family members decided to fuck him back. More: Vanity Fair

Note six: So we've talked about the killing of the Portland antifa activist and how witnesses said he was given no warning before authorities opened fire. It's alarming because Trump has described it as "retribution." Well yesterday at a rally, he seemed to confirm it was murder. More: Rolling Stone

Note seven: Need some good news? More: The Atlantic

Note eight: Don't forget that Sinclair Media is trying to kill us all. More: Media Matters

Note nine: Savannah Guthrie did what White House reporters should've been doing for the last four years. Anybody else almost throw something through the tv when Trump said she was "so cute?" Yeah, we thought so. Thank you, Savannah, for putting up with that shit and asking important questions. More: New York Times

Note 10: You know that blind lady who said Trump had a great smile and was handsome? She's voting for Biden. Maybe there's hope for her yet. More: Miami New Times

Note 11: So we're embarrassed. We did something stupid, and we fucking knew better. Yesterday, we praised twitter and facebook for doing the right thing and limiting the distribution of another Russian campaign being conducted via Rudy and the NY Post. So of course, after some threats from Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley, twitter completely caved. We're sorry. We regret the error, and we promise to never heap praise on Silicon Valley scum ever again. More: New York Times

Note 12: Well y'all, there's no easy way to put this, but we are in the idiot times. For the next 18-plus days, everything is going to be even more stupid than usual. We know what you're thinking. But TBS, everything has been so stupid for so long already and you're so hot. Well, you're right on both counts and thank you. But believe us when we tell you that the stupid is about to be turned up to 11. Don't worry though. You got this. You're on the smart team, and your taste in newsletters suggests you are a genius. We love y'all, and we hope you have a safe and relaxing weekend doing things that will result in the global humiliation of Donald Trump and his Republican enablers. Now here's the Peanuts gang doing the Ghostbusters theme song by Ray Parker Jr. More: YouTube

Screwed like his cousin 

Sorry, we usually have a rule limiting the number of Rudy does his cousin jokes we can make a day. But dude is the new Julian Assange pushing Russian bullshit, so we figured he has it coming. Yes, WaPo and others are reporting that Rudy's latest attack on the Biden family is part of a Russian operation that the White House was warned about. So they were told Rudy is doing the Kremlin's bidding and they helped him do it. And now the Feds are investigating to see if this is all part of a foreign intel operation, which it obviously is. It really is crazy how normal this shit has become. More: Washington Post, NBC News

Blue State blues

California, which saw record-breaking wildfires this year even before fire season, can go fuck itself, according to the Trump administration. Yeah, Trump has denied emergency fund requests for the state that didn't vote for him. So does this mean Californians can stop paying taxes? This is what happens when you have a cruel and vindictive president who thinks fires are started by exploding trees. More: CNN

Two Americas

So last night America got quite the show. On ABC, a kind and decent man talked in great detail about his tax and economic policies, and then stayed after the event to talk with voters for another 30 minutes. On NBC, a human meth rock gave the Q conspiracy a boost, defended his promotion of an idiotic conspiracy theory that bin Laden is still alive and admitted that he owes more than $400 million to someone. The one on NBC got so bad that Savannah compared Trump to someone's "crazy uncle." Naturally, Trumpland wants her burned at the stake today for having the temerity to question Dear Leader. We saw a clear choice last night, America. If you're still confused, then maybe stick to voting in elections where the only stakes are the color of the next M&M. More: CNN

Today's clips

C-SPAN suspended its political editor Steve Scully indefinitely Thursday after he admitted to lying about his Twitter feed being hacked when he was confronted about a questionable exchange with former Trump aide Anthony Scaramucci.
More: Associated Press

The Trump White House has installed two political operatives at the nation's top public health agency to try to control the information it releases about the coronavirus pandemic as the administration seeks to paint a positive outlook, sometimes at odds with the scientific evidence.
More: Associated Press

After 36 years, I'm fleeing what was the U.S. Department of Justice — where I proudly served 19 different attorneys general and six different presidents. For the last three-plus decades, I have respected our leadership regardless of whether we were led by a Republican or a Democrat. I always believed the department's past leaders were dedicated to the rule of law and the guiding principle that justice is blind. That is a bygone era, but it should not be forgotten.
More: San Diego Union Tribune

Casino mogul Sheldon Adelson and his wife Miriam Adelson gave $75 million to a super PAC that flooded battleground states with anti-Joe Biden ads in September, a huge investment from the GOP megadonors as President Donald Trump slipped in the polls.
More: Politico

A federal appeals judge on Thursday accused her colleagues and other judges across the country of sanctioning "a systematic effort to suppress voter turnout and undermine the right to vote."
More: Buzzfeed News

Democratic nominee Amy McGrath raised twice as much as U.S. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell from July to September — and spent more than double the incumbent, too.
More: Lexington Herald Leader

President Donald Trump continued his attacks on Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer on Thursday, calling the Democratic lawmaker a "dictator" as authorities announced charges against a 14th suspect in the thwarted plot to kidnap her and violently overthrow the government. 
More: The Daily Beast



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