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9.9.20

9.9.20

It's Wednesday. There are 55 days until the presidential election. The Trump family fucks up our lawn, a GOP senate staffer reveals how Republicans feel about healthcare and aren't you excited to pay for Trump's rape defense?

Note: Gooooood morning, Vietnam! Or you know, wherever you are today. How are you? Well that's good. You smell terrific. Who us? Well, we are rage today. You remember those "most interesting man in the world commercials" where he's like "stay thirsty" at the end? Yeah, well this morning we are the most pissed off newsletter in the world and our advice is to stay angry, friends. And man Trump makes that easy. Did you see the way he was mocking and mispronouncing United States Senator Kamala Harris's name at his North Carolina super spreader event?! Did you hear him say it "would be an insult to our country" if she were the first woman president?! Well we did and we hit the goddamn roof. Oh boy were we hot. We had to count to 10. Then we punched a hole in the wall. And then we counted to 20. And while we counted and our hand started to hurt like a motherfucker we thought ya know there are better ways to get back at that orange piece of shit. So we have a new rule around here. Every time Trump says or does something that makes us madder than a psycho hornet, we're gonna give money to a campaign. We are going to go broke very fast, but hopefully we'll win some races. More: MSNBC

Note two: Yesterday the Milwaukee Bucks lost to the Miami Heat, ending their playoff run and sending them home from the NBA bubble. It's a tough way to end what was an otherwise successful season. But those men still made history. It was the Bucks who stayed in their locker room after Jacob Blake was shot in the back by a police officer seven times. They stood up and used their voices to force change, pushing the NBA to lead on even more reforms from inside the bubble. The season might not have ended the way they wanted it to, but those guys are heroes and they should be damn proud of what they accomplished in that bubble. More: The Undefeated

Note three: We swear we're not turning into a sports newsletter, but we wanted to make sure y'all know about Naomi Osaka and how she has honored victims of police violence as she has been winning at the U.S. Open. More: CNN

Note four: Did y'all see the ball-in-a-cup competition on ESPN 12 last night? It was fucking awesome. That McGurt really knows how to put the ball in the cup. Outstanding win, Temecula Pudding Spoons!

Note five: Yeah, we made the last one up.

Note six: Did you know the western part of the nation is on fire and it's not even fire season yet? If you answered yes to that question, you are not the president of the United States. More: Washington Post

Note seven: Don Jr. is still the worst. This dude obviously killed small animals as a child, right? More: Forbes

Note eight: We've been laboring under the idea that Donald Trump is the stupidest person alive. But what then does that make the nutjob who nominated Trump for a Nobel prize? More: The Daily Beast

Note nine: 20 years old and died from COVID. RIP More: Cal Vulcans

Note 10: At least there's some justice in the video game world. We assume. We really don't know unless you're talking about Pong. More: USA Today

Note 11: Ok you gorgeous patriots. That's more than enough notes for a Wednesday. Thanks for calming us down this morning. We're still running red hot over Trump's treatment of Kamala, but that shit keeps us motivated. And besides, she sure as hell doesn't need our help punching back (But we're gonna do it anyway). Y'all keep kicking ass and being sexy. We've got 55 days to raise some hell. Wear your masks and take no prisoners. Love y'all!

Get off our lawn

Well here's a big surprise. Remember last month when Trump had a couple thousand assholes over to the White House to break the law and use our house for his fucking convention? Remember how Melainie the Participation Trophy Wife fucked up the Rose Garden to make that happen? Well, it turns out the president and his guest royally fucked up the South Lawn and the Rose Garden, and now they're having to pay to fix them. But aren't they having money troubles? Yeah, so we'll probably get screwed on this one too. More: CNN, Washington Post

The truth comes out

A staffer to embattled U.S. Sen. Thom Tillis told a three-time cancer survivor that having health insurance was like buying a new shirt, and if she can't afford it, then she can't have it. North Carolinian Bev Veals recorded her conversation with the Tillis staffer who basically told her good luck and it ain't his fucking problem. Tillis tried to backtrack later, claiming to be an advocate for healthcare even as he has repeatedly voted to repeal the ACA and even blocked Medicaid expansion in North Carolina. A lot of polls show this fucking asshole sucking wind. If you're looking for a Senate race to get involved in, this is a good one. More: WRAL

Pass the cup

Yeah, Bill Barr thinks we should pay for Trump's defense in his losing defamation suit brought by Trump survivor E. Jean Carroll. Yes, this is real. Barr and DOJ are arguing in court that DOJ should be allowed to represent Trump in this case because apparently it was part of the president's official duties when he responded to Carroll's rape allegation by saying "she's not my type." It's a huge coincidence that our super corrupt AG waded into the case just as it was about to enter the evidence gathering phase, including a DNA sample from Trump, assuming he's human and has DNA. Hey, Democrats, let's make a big deal out of this. More: Bloomberg

Today's clips

The Arizona Supreme Court on Tuesday rejected Kanye West's bid to appear on the state's Nov. 3 ballot as an independent presidential candidate, just hours before eight of the state's 15 counties faced a deadline for printing ballots.
More: AZCentral

Half a million US children have been diagnosed with Covid-19, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Children's Hospital Association. 
More: CNN

President Donald Trump's ex-fixer, Michael Cohen, told NBC News in an exclusive interview that he believes his former boss is a racist "cult leader" who would be wise to resign before he's faced with potential criminal charges.
More: NBC News

Ahead of a speech to be given in Warren, Democratic nominee Joe Biden early Wednesday unveiled a plan to tax companies that move work overseas at a higher rate and reward those that bring jobs back into the U.S.
More: Detroit Free Press

The U.S. Agency for International Development, which has been on the front lines of the battle with the coronavirus, is about to shut down the task force it set up to tackle the still-ongoing pandemic.
More: Politico

Facebook software engineer Ashok Chandwaney has watched with growing unease as the platform has become a haven for hate. On Tuesday morning, it came time to take a stand.
More: Washington Post

 









 

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