Online shopping for the latest electronics, fashion, phone accessories, computer electronics, toys, home&garden, home appliances, tools, home improvement and more.

FIVE_BUCKS_ALI

HELP_BUTTON

ALIepnDYNAMIX

HOLLOWEEN

ebayDYNAMIX

WEEKLY DEALS

Flash Deals

9.6.20 SPECIAL EDITION

9.6.20 SPECIAL EDITION

It's Sunday. There are 58 days until the presidential election. Kamala speaks truth about Trump's janky vaccine talk as we hear about some scary new projections, Trump has a rough weekend despite playing 36 holes of golf and holy shit this election is underway.

Note: We're sorry to bother you on a Sunday, but we just couldn't resist. It started with a text message. "Should we do a special TBS just to make fun of those dumb motherfuckers who are sinking in Texas?" The reply came almost immediately. "Well, considering I just pissed myself twice laughing at it, I say yes." And here we are, interrupting your Labor Day weekend to mock the water-logged losers who sank in yesterday's Trump boat disaster. After all, TBS could very well stand for "Trump Boats Sink." So we slid down the pole at TBS HQ and fired off this urgent dispatch from the war against dumb. It was truly a sight to listen to the howls and screams of the boating inbreds, and while better people might refrain from laughing at such obvious morons, we are not those better people. No, in fact, we're still laughing our asses off at watching the Trump Navy take such huge losses. These are the people who respond to Rudy banging his cousin jokes with "so what" as they try to quietly hide pictures of their sister-wives. We picture portly men with bad and oddly shaped sunburns, standing up to their waists in fast rising water and cry-screaming "GEORGE SOROS SANK MY BATTLESHIP!!!!" You know it's a feeling they've felt so many times before. And then a few years ago, a little blue pill came along and they didn't feel it for a while. And now they're feeling it again and they don't make boner pills for your boat. And dude is like honey, you should go down with the ship. And honey is like fuck you all this trump shit was your idea to begin with you go down with the ship. And the dude is like let's not blaspheme the orange one. And honey is like you're right let's both go down with the ship. And dude is like that makes sense since we're both complete fucking idiots. And as they sink, the pitiful pumpkin lovers try to take some foolish solace in the notion that sinking is just like struggling with a ramp made out of water, so, in a way, they're just like their idiot hero. God bless America. More: CNN

Note two: Was it silly to push out a special edition just to make fun of Trump fans? Probably. Do we regret it? Absolutely not. And we want to welcome any new subscribers. If you're coming to us from Politico's Playbook, we just want you to know you'll be safe here. We treasure every last one of you, and we would never ask you to take the SATs for us or hide a bloody knife in the middle of the night. Yeah, we've heard about the kind of shit they pull over there. So welcome, and thank you for joining us.

Note three: You know what's really hilarious about this boat stuff? It's not even the most embarrassing thing to happen to Trump in the last 48 hours. No, for that we're going with winning the endorsement of the Q-loving Bin Laden. It's like the island of misfit toys if instead of being endearing and willing to take on cruel discrimination and bullying they were dumber than dog shit and meaner that fucking rattlesnakes. More: Business Insider

Note four: Here's a story about our friend Rex Chapman. Rex is a former basketball star, a recovering opioid addict and an outspoken anti-racist. Speaking up about this stuff in Kentucky the way Rex does can't be easy. Speaking of Kentucky, did y'all see the Dystopian Derby yesterday with no fans, mass protests outside the track and a winner that knocked its trainer over? Yeah, everything is a fucking mess. That state ought to think about getting some new senators. More: Lexington Herald Leader

Note five: We keep going out on this limb, but it just doesn't seem smart to us to hire a former Putin consultant to run communications for HHS during a deadly pandemic. More: Media Matters

Note six: Fuck. Batman tested positive. More: Vanity Fair

Note seven: Read this story and then ask yourself how long until Kanye is standing in a sinking boat in a Texas lake. More: Politico

Note eight: Michael Cohen is a lying scumbag. But we believe what he wrote about Trump being a racist scumbag. More: Washington Post

Note nine: Did y'all see Trump attack Steve Jobs's widow this morning? Hard to imagine why this fucking asshole is having such a hard time winning back suburban women. 

Note 10: Last week we asked y'all to help us with some jokes about Kim Jong Un and Sarah Huckabee Sanders. All we're gonna say is some of y'all are some twisted motherfuckers and we freaking love it. Y'all are truly the best readers any foul-mouthed newsletter could ever ask for. 

Note 11: Thank you for letting us crash your Labor Day weekend. We're going to still take tomorrow off to celebrate the labor that built this country and our union brothers and sisters. When we come back, we're coming back to the sprint. Are you ready? Are you ready to take our country back? We love y'all, and we hope you have a fantastic Sunday and a wonderful Labor Day weekend. Please be safe. 

Duh

It was apparently big news this weekend that Kamala Harris stated the obvious. In an interview with CNN's Dana "New tone" Bash, Kamala said she would not take a vaccine that was being pushed by Trump but would take one that was endorsed by actual doctors and scientists. We're with you, Kamala. That dumb motherfucker told us to drink bleach and inject sunlight. We wouldn't take a baby aspirin if that stupid shit said it was ok. So thank you, Kamala, for saying what we all want to and for laying down a marker on this vaccine thing. It's pretty obvious Trump is cooking up something to push before the election, so thank goodness for skeptical leaders. And we know he's going to be feeling the heat as new death toll projections are truly horrifying. One projection has us at 410,000 deaths by the end of the year! And you're welcome for that on a Sunday. Have we mentioned lately how much we love Kamala? Fucking rock star. More: CNN, Washington PostWashington Post II

Commander-in-fucking-scumbag-who-isn't-fit-to-polish-our-troops-boots

It's a long subhed, but you get the point. Yeah, we haven't talked with y'all since dipshit's attacks on our veterans and fallen soldiers became the big story. It's really been something watching Trumpland scramble to cover up for something we all know to be true. Feeling attacked by the armies of decency, Trump retreated to his golf course for the weekend, playing golf and getting photographed like an orange bigfoot. We sure as hell hope this story isn't going away. Also, how much are we loving the Brass Knuckles Biden who came out swinging last week? From the beginning, we wanted a nominee who could channel our anger. And while Biden doesn't cuss enough or make nearly enough jokes about Giuliani fucking his own cousin, we are damn grateful he's leading this fight for us. More: The Atlantic, Politico

Holy shit it's almost time to vote

Don't look now, but ballots are going out. That's right, the most important election of our lifetimes got underway when North Carolina started mailing ballots to everybody. Are you ready? Do you have a plan to vote? Does your family? Do your neighbors? Have you annoyed the living fuck out of everybody you know about this? Good, that's what we like to hear. We've got 58 days to leave it all out on the field. No regrets on Nov. 4. Here's an Axios guide to voting in all 50 states. Let's kick some ass! More: Axios

Today's clips

In a Sunday morning tweet, the President said the US Department of Education would investigate whether California schools are using the New York Times' "1619 Project" in public school curriculum. The Pulitzer-Prize winning collection reframes American history around the date of August 1619, when the first slave ship arrived on America's shores.
More: CNN

U.S. Postal Service police barred Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz from entering two mail sorting facilities in Florida in the early morning hours on Friday, threatening to escort her from the property if she didn't leave.
More: NBC News

President Trump was proudly litigious before his victory in 2016 and has remained so in the White House. But one big factor has changed: He has drawn on campaign donations as a piggy bank for his legal expenses to a degree far greater than any of his predecessors.
More: New York Times

Not that Rogers would have said anything publicly about Trump  if he were still alive. His widow, Joanne Rogers, told The Daily Beast on Thursday that her husband always avoided talking about political candidates or parties for fear it would complicate the lives of kids at home.
More: The Daily Beast

A House candidate whom President Trump recently called "a future Republican Star" posted an image of herself holding a rifle with photos of three liberal congresswomen of color and the vow to "go on the offense" against members of the "Squad," an unprecedented threat against lawmakers from a probable future colleague.
More: Washington Post

After parting ways with President Jerry Falwell Jr in the wake of personal scandals, Liberty University has hired a firm to investigate "all facets" of Falwell's tenure, including the school's financial and real estate operations.
More: Reuters

White supremacists present the gravest terror threat to the United States, according to a draft report from the Department of Homeland Security.
More: Politico

President Trump is moving to revamp federal agencies' racial sensitivity trainings, casting some of them as "divisive" and "un-American," according to a memo by the White House Office of Management and Budget.
More: Washington Post

Anita Hill never pictured herself voting for Joe Biden.

But given the political reality the nation is facing, she's not only going to vote for Biden -- she's also willing to work with him, should he become president.
More: CNN

But, just a few weeks into the fall semester, the experiment is faltering. Colleges and universities across the country are struggling to contain surges of COVID-19 cases on campus. As of Tuesday, more than 25,000 students and campus staff in at least 37 states had tested positive for the virus—mostly concentrated in southern states that were already struggling to contain a COVID-19 crisis.
More: The Daily Beast

 










 

If you have a friend, family member, or neighbor that would like to sign up for this free daily newsletter they can go to Bigstuff.us.

To access past issues of TBS publicly please click here.

 
Made in the USA


Click here if you would like to unsubscribe from this list.
 
>