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Today's Big Stuff

8.5.20

It's Wednesday. There are 90 days until the presidential election. Our idiot president says schools should open because the virus will just go away, Republicans get caught trying to put a mentally ill man on the ballot and the White House is never gonna be clean again. 

Note: Hump Day has barely even started and it can already go hump itself. Seriously, is there anything worse than starting off the day watching the toads at Fox and Friends slobber all over Trump's ample orange ass as he lies to the country in obvious and insulting ways? We like to dream of the day when these fucking losers pay a social price for their embarrassing ass-kissing. Where's the story about how Steve Doocy doesn't get invited to parties at the Vineyard? When will we hear about Brian Kilmeade's family disowning him? Or maybe there's no price to be paid. Maybe you can lie to this nation, hurt this nation and even get people killed and walk away with fame and money. Oh shit. That's exactly what you can do. We've really gotta get our priorities together. Sorry to start off so damn gloomy, but really, fuck Fox and motherfuck their friends.

Note two: Reaching for the Prozactini? Sorry. That's our bad. We came out of the gate like some hardcore summer bummers this morning. But let's not lose sight of the good news. Yesterday, Missouri voters made the Show Me State the 38th state to approve Medicaid expansion under Obamacare. It's a powerful reminder that some truly stupid people love the Affordable Care Act and hate Obamacare and will always be too dumb and too racist to understand that they're the same fucking thing. Congrats, Missouri. Have fun voting for Trump.

Note three: This note is just for desperate idiot politicians who think they can get re-elected by fucking with the WNBA. Call it free advice. DON'T FUCK WITH THE WNBA ON SOCIAL JUSTICE CAUSES. They've been doing this and doing it well since Kelly Loeffler was still learning how to burn crosses and illegally sell stocks. More: USA Today

Note four: Sadly, the scumbag-in-chief didn't get this message, and he was trashing BLM and the NBA on Fox this morning, calling BLM a "marxist group" and saying NBA players kneeling during the anthem is "disgraceful." How many fucks do we give? Less than zero. Anybody else see Devin Booker and the Phoenix Suns drop the Clippers on a last-second shot yesterday? It's a lot more fun than watching a giant toddler lose a fight with a ramp. 

Note five: Common and Tiffany Haddish are dating?! Amazing! We're totally watching Girls' Trip again tonight. More: Buzzfeed News

Note six: RIP to legendary New York journalist Pete Hamill. His book, "A Drinking Life," is a beautiful story about a journalist's fight against alcoholism, and his collection of feature stories is breathtaking. More: New York Times

Note seven: Trump keeps saying that he's done more for Black Americans than any president "with the possible exception" of Lincoln. In the same interview, Birther Bitch again attacked President Obama, this time for a eulogy delivered at a funeral that Trump wasn't invited to. So did the Fox interviewers bring up the fact that Trump wasn't even invited? Of course not. They sat their nodding as an orange-faced lunatic accused President Obama of being angry to the point of losing control. As he lies about the nation's first Black president for the eleventy billionth time, please remember all the white reporters who have really struggled with whether Trump is a racist. 

Note eight: We're gonna watch some of the Sally Yates hearing that Lindsey Graham is doing to try and hurt Biden. This is what Mitch McConnell's Senate is doing while millions of Americans are hurting. But we want y'all to have a great day. Wear your masks, check your voter registration, make a plan. And stay the fuck away from Republicans. You never know what you'll catch from those assholes.

"It will go away like things go away."

That's Trump's answer about the virus when asked about the safety of sending our kids back to schools. We're almost at 160,000 dead, and he still doesn't get it. He's never going to get it. Especially with Fox and Friends kissing his ass and telling him how great he is. And according to CNN, even White House aides are saying as much. Children are not "almost immune" from this virus. Viruses don't just go away. Fox and Friends is not real news. Trump is not a real president. More: Mediaite, CNN

Sick

At least three Repubican officials have been caught trying to get Kanye West on the ballot. One of them even works for the Trump campaign. The latest time was in Wisconsin. It's one thing to want a spoiler on the ballot. It's a whole other thing to try and exploit a mentally ill man for your sick political needs. Republicans are openly and brazenly trying a million different ways to try and cheat and win this election. And the only people in a position to ask hard questions about it are worried about their access. We used to be pretty big Kanye fans, but that went out the window when he took his red hat to the Oval. We rock with Taylor Swift now. But even Kanye doesn't deserve this shit. More: Vice, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Call the British

Because when Trump finally gets dragged out of the White House by Secret Service agents in January, we're gonna need someone to set fire to the place. Not really of course, but regular clearing products just aren't gonna get the job done. We've felt this way since January 2017, but the news that Trump is going to take one final shit on the Hatch Act and have his fucking political convention at the White House has really set us off. That building belongs to all of us, not just the mouthbreathing dumbfucks who watch Fox and all night. There will be zero pushback from the press on this. Why? Because they're the only people aside from Republican Senators who are still afraid of this fucking idiot. More: Washington Post

Today's clips

The United States will need to bring its daily coronavirus case countdown to 10,000 by September to gain some level of control over the pandemic before fall, Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation's leading infectious disease expert, said Monday.
More: NBC News

Yanez, who lives in the U.S. illegally, is among some 23 million people nationwide at risk of being evicted, according to The Aspen Institute, as moratoriums enacted because of the coronavirus expire and courts reopen. Around 30 state moratoriums have expired since May, according to The Eviction Lab at Princeton University. On top of that, some tenants were already encountering illegal evictions even with the moratoriums.
More: Associated Press

Cori Bush, a onetime homeless woman who led protests following a white police officer's fatal shooting of a Black 18-year-old in Ferguson, ousted longtime Rep. William Lacy Clay Tuesday in Missouri's Democratic primary, ending a political dynasty that has spanned more than a half-century.
More: Associated Press

The Biden campaign on Wednesday is announcing what it says is the largest TV ad buy ever by a presidential candidate, with $220 million set aside for commercials to air through the fall and another $60 million budgeted to reach audiences digitally on social media or gaming platforms.
More: CBS News

The coronavirus is spreading at dangerous levels across much of the United States, and public health experts are demanding a dramatic reset in the national response, one that recognizes that the crisis is intensifying and that current piecemeal strategies aren't working.
More: Washington Post

House Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) has given his GOP colleagues new marching orders for stump speeches between now and November, as incumbents worry about how President Trump's own challenges may strain their re-election bids.
More: Axios

The Border Patrol vowed a full accounting after ProPublica revealed hateful posts in the private Facebook group. Now congressional investigators say the agency is blocking them and revealing little about its internal investigation.
More: Pro Publica

Three US Defense Department officials told CNN that as of Tuesday night there was no indication that the massive explosion that rocked Beirut on Tuesday were an "attack," contradicting an earlier claim from President Donald Trump.
More: CNN

The Securities and Exchange Commission is investigating the circumstances around Eastman Kodak Co.'s announcement of a $765 million government loan to make drugs at its U.S. factories, according to people familiar with the matter.
More: Wall Street Journal

President Donald Trump's nominee to become the US ambassador to Germany has a history of making xenophobic and racist comments about immigrants and refugees in both Germany and the US.
More: CNN

A Donald Trump campaign spokeswoman said Tuesday the president has agreed to participate in three scheduled debates against Joe Biden organized by an independent commission.
More: Politico

Donald Trump's campaign says it knocked on over 1 million doors in the past week alone.

Joe Biden's campaign says it knocked on zero.
More: Politico

 














 

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