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Happy Friday. There are 67 days until the presidential election. Trump lies and bores everyone to tears, a shocking quote from the White House about COVID and Biden-Harris starts bringing the heat.

Note: We're gonna try to be fast today. We started taking a Silkwood shower last night after Trump finished his eight-hour speech, and we figure to be safe we should probably stay in there until around 5 today. So far, it's not working. Not even high pressure scalding water is removing the scum we got on us just watching one dirty ass criminal after another lie to us about the state of our nation. But there is some really good news. Like really, really good news. You ready? Ok, here it is -- That shit is over. Yep, we made it. Now we just have to take a power drill to our heads to remove those images of our beloved White House dressed up for a goddamn MAGA rally. They really defiled everything we have and everything we are this week. And now we get to tell them what we think of that. So make a plan, send some money and do everything you can to kick some ass. Next weekend is Labor Day weekend, and that kicks off the sprint. Are you ready?

Note two: When President Obama was in office, reporters would talk about disrespectful Mitch McConnell was to him. Even in McConnell's book, you can see he thought it beneath him that he had to show respect to a president who was so young and hadn't been in the Senate long and was Black. So easily our greatest laugh last night came from the fact that the poorly aging turtle's speaking slot came right after the president's caddie. Mitch is now a leader of the Q party. A bunch of freaks, losers and racists. Congrats, Mitch. You earned it. How fucking embarrassing. 

Note three: These are the victims of the shooting by the Trump rally attendee… More: NY Daily News

Note four: Beverly Hills sucks. But after the way they treated Axl Foley, we're not surprised.  More: LA Times

Note five: David Farenthold has dropped more fire this week, so of course Trumpland is going after him. More: Washington Post, Washingtonian

Note six: We linked to this story yesterday, but we wanted to draw some attention to it. This week, while athletes were making the courageous decision to strike in the name of justice, there was one young woman who made that decision without any teammates to join her. More: LA Times

Note seven: Want to ruin your weekend before it even gets started? Read either of these stories… More: New York Times, NBC News

Note eight: The guys from Animal House think Liberty University is out of control… More: Politico

Note nine: Our friend Brian Karem from way down town… More: Playboy

Note 10: Ivanka. Boy, we just don't know… More: Washington Post

Note 11: There are people who will weep for Rand Paul because he got yelled at. None of them work here. Yeah, we've already seen a bunch of white dude reporters doing some moral preening and "poor Rand' bullshit. Boo hoo. Rand blocked an anti-lynching bill and has done jack shit during a deadly pandemic. If he can't skip and whistle to his car, so be it. More: Lexington Herald Leader

Note 12: We are so freaking glad that nightmare was over. Four nights of lying, four nights of ignoring the death and carnage they have caused, four nights of them rubbing their corruption in our faces. As Jake Tapper pointed out, between the time the convention began and ended, 3,688 Americans died of COVID. And so of course we were lied to about it all week. Well, they've said what they had to say. Now it's our turn. What are you doing to kick some ass this fall? You're already reading TBS, so it's obvious you're engaged and have impeccable taste. We love y'all. And we're damn grateful you come here to get through the crazy with us. Have a wonderful weekend, and please stay safe. And here's the Peanuts gang doing Outkast's Hey Ya! More: YouTube


Ivanka said "the results speak for themselves," and Trump said a bunch of boring bullshit that we tuned out. Mercifully, the Republican convention is over. As National Journal's Geoge Condon pointed out, Trump's speech was the longest acceptance speech ever. Coming in at 1 hour and 11 minutes, he beat Bill Clinton's 1996 speech by six minutes. We are so proud of everyone who showed up to blow air horns and boo and just generally let these assholes know what we think of them. Did you hear Trump say "very modestly" that he's done more for Black people than any president since Lincoln? Yeah. The most important part to watch is CNN's Daniel Dale afterward. He really stepped up, unlike his colleagues who normalized and dismissed the defilement of the White House as just the power of incumbency. Also, today is the 57th anniversary of the March on Washington for Jobs and Equality. So today there is another march on Washington. And it is definitely needed. If you're going, please wear a mask, be safe and be heard. More: CNN, The St. Louis American, Associated Press

They said what?!

CNN reporter Jim Acosta reported on the lack of masks and social distancing at the White House last night. Acosta reported that when he asked a WH official about this, he was told, "Everybody is going to catch this thing eventually." WHAT?! If that's true, then a lot of people are going to die. Oh wait. A lot of people already have died.People at the RNC in Charlotte have already started testing positive. For COVID and being awful. More: Mediaite, Charlotte Observer

Feel the heat

In a prebuttal yesterday, Kamala Harris took Trump to the woodshed, calling him "scared" and "petty" and "vindictive." In short, she was amazing. And Biden hit up a couple of national interviews yesterday to seize on Kellyanne's fuck up and make clear that Trump is "rooting for more violence." He also called Kellyanne Kelly, and we thought that was fucking hilarious. Oh and then we found out that Biden-Harris secured the domain name This is a team that is bringing a fight to the enemies of America. And we are so freaking here for it. More: The Daily Beast, NBC News, Politico

Today's clips

Michigan's attorney general and secretary of state on Thursday were investigating what they called a racist robocall that falsely warns residents in majority-Black Detroit who vote by mail that they could be subject to arrest and debt collection.
More: Associated Press

President Donald Trump's top civil rights official at the Department of Justice announced this week that he was considering launching investigations into how state-owned nursing homes responded to the coronavirus. The four states he targeted all have Democratic governors. This highly unusual public announcement of potential investigations raised alarm bells among Civil Rights Division alumni and Democrats that DOJ's move was motivated by partisan politics.
More: Huff Post

Donald Trump exploded with anger at one of his most senior aides about missing a phone call with Russian President Vladimir Putin, according to a former No 10 official.
More: Independent

Michigan state officials are investigating a voter-suppression robocall allegedly tied to blundering conservative operatives Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman.
More: The Daily Beast

A man, who officials said had announced he was armed before he was shot by a Secret Service officer earlier in the month near the White House, was apparently holding a comb, according to new court documents.
More: Washington Post

Top Trump administration officials involved with the White House coronavirus task force ordered the Centers for Disease Control and Protection to stop promoting coronavirus testing for most people who have been exposed to the virus but aren't showing symptoms, according to two people with knowledge of the process.
More: Politico

A government watchdog said Thursday that it already considers the 2020 Census to be at high risk for problems, as the data collection endeavor faces a looming deadline next month.
More: CNN

The father of Jacob Blake said Friday that his hour-long conversation earlier this week with Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden and running mate Kamala Harris was akin to "speaking to my uncle and one of my sisters."
More: CNN

At the beginning of what might well be her last full day in the Trump administration, the morning after she used her RNC speech to thank the president for "empowering" women like her, Kellyanne Conway went out with a bang on the White House lawn by doing what she does best: Attacking the media.
More: The Daily Beast

The morning after Real Salt Lake and LAFC decided to not play their scheduled game Wednesday night at Rio Tinto Stadium, RSL owner Dell Loy Hansen responded with what he described as "profound disappointment."
More: Salt Lake Tribune



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