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Today's Big Stuff


Happy Friday. There are 102 days until the presidential election. Trump threatens to send 75,000 troops into U.S. cities, Trump retreats from his convention while targeting "housewives" and the United States Senate is a goddamn disaster.

Note: Gooooooooooood morning, Vietnam!!!!! Wait a minute. This isn't Vietnam. Shit. We are so effing lost. Must've taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque. Oh well, we'll get it together. Congratulations on making it through another week here in Trumpland, where the racism will get you if the pandemic doesn't.  Big plans for the weekend? Yeah, us too. Just trying to stay alive and save the country. Probably watch some WNBA. Their season tips off Saturday, and y'all know we love our sports because we talk about them a lot. And like so many Americans, we have missed them greatly lo these past few months. So yesterday we were thrilled to take in a preseason NBA game and part of an MLB game with an opening pitch we won't talk about or ever mention in polite society. It was so nice to watch some of our favorite athletes competing again. But what really struck us was the joy on some of the players' faces as they were back to doing what they love to do, at great risk to themselves and largely for our entertainment. It made us think about the future. It made us hopeful for the time when we look back on this time in sadness and disbelief. That kind of joy is contagious. Be safe and let's feel it again. And yeah, we know what you're thinking. "TBS, millions of people are hurting how can you be such a clueless and super good looking optimist when things are so bad?" And the answer is we believe in this nation, we believe in the American people and we've been cutting our bourbon with Prozac and gummy worms.

Note two: Speaking of sports, last night the Dodgers Mookie Betts took a knee before their first game. He was not the first to do so, but seeing someone do it in the same uniform that Jackie Robinson wore meant a lot to us. Thank you, Mookie!

Note three: So we mentioned this yesterday, but we continue to be blown away by AOC's poised and powerful defense of herself and other women on the House floor yesterday. Rep. Ted Yoho is a liar, a coward and the kind of guy who stuffs his pants with a thumbtack because he wants to look bigger. Also, the NYT should be ashamed of the sexist way it has covered this. At some point, we need to acknowledge that that newspaper has a real problem with the way it covers women. And once again, shame on Steny Hoyer for accepting a non-apology that wasn't his to accept. Here are her remarks in full. Thank you, AOC! More: YouTube

Note four: This got overlooked. It shouldn't have. That our party has constantly given Bill Barr a free pass continues to royally piss us off. More: CNN

Note five: John Lewis will lie in state next week. It is absolutely the right thing to do and absolutely the very least they can do. Want to honor the man? Pass a fix to the Voting Rights Act. More: CNN

Note six: More of this please, Joe. More: Washington Post

Note seven: "The country is in very good shape other than if you look south or west." That is a very real quote from the president of the United States. Been nice knowing y'all. More: HuffPost

Note eight: We can't believe we're saying this, but this might be the most fucked up Trumpland COVID story yet. More: Mother Jones

Note nine: Want to read a Garrett Graff magazine piece that will scare the living shit out of you? Of course you do. More: Politico

Note 10: Sunday will mark 100 days until the election. Ignore the polls. In fact, if you even accidentally see a poll, please cut out your own eyes. We can't have you messing this up for everyone. We kid of course. You have beautiful eyes, and we want to make sure they see a new president being sworn in this January. So whatever you're doing, do more of it. There's nobody we'd rather be in this fight with than you. Stay safe, and have a great weekend.

Send in the clowns

Last night on Hannity, Trump bragged about how the mayor of Portland got "the hell knocked out of him" and that he is ready to send 75,000 "strong" and "tough" federal agents into American cities. For some reason we have never been able to figure out, the Washington press corps is largely ignoring this alarming shit. We should probably stop calling them watchdogs, right? Like, they haven't even asked about the Russian bounties on American troops or how many dead teachers and students Trump is ok with. But if you want to know a lot about political conventions, they've got you covered. Anyway, Portland showed up again last night to make clear they will not be subjected to the violent rule of a deranged dumbfuck gameshow host, and we couldn't be prouder. Oh and the scumbags who work at DHS, well they just admitted in court that they are scummy liars. More: CNN, CNN II, CNN III


That's who Trump addressed yesterday as he continued to push his re-election strategy of bringing back segregation. That's not even really a joke. That's basically what he's trying to do. The thing we can't figure out is what he thinks a woman in the suburbs in 2020 looks like. Because June Cleaver doesn't live here anymore, and the women he's picturing in the kitchen are already on their way to November to kick his ass out of office. Do Republicans think we can't see how cavalier they're being with our health and safety? With our kids' health and safety? The really messed up thing is that Trump canceled his convention finally because it's not safe but he's fine sending our kids back to school?! Also, it would be fucking great if the ultimate creepshow could stop talking about our kids' immune systems. More: Washington Post, Washington Post II, Washington Post III

Moscow Mitch goes missing

The last of the $600 pandemic checks were mailed today. But don't worry, the flaming hot diaper that is the United States Senate is completely making it worse. They don't have a plan because Mitch and the other super rich assholes are really upset that some hardworking chap who can't go back to work might have $600 a week to feed their family. Oh and the eviction moratorium is expiring and they have no plan for our kids to safely go back to school and they have no real testing plan and more than 140,000 Americans are dead. But don't worry. Mitch was telling the country this morning that there won't be any socialist policies in the bill, and his buddy Ron Johnson is carrying the Kremlin's water for them. So maybe the Senate isn't a complete loss. Yes. Yes, it is. The funny part though is watching their version of a flex. Trump wanted some really dumb shit in this package -- payroll tax cut, school funding tied to opening -- and Republicans said no. Trump is so weak he can't even force these fucking weaklings to do his bidding anymore. Yesterday, the Cook Political Report projected for the first time that Democrats will win the Senate. While we should ignore stuff like that, we think it's pretty fucking obvious why this is happening and it rhymes with Smitch Smcconnell. More: CNN, Washington Post, Washington Post II

Today's clips

Judge Alvin Hellerstein found that Cohen was taken into custody July 9 and returned to prison in retaliation for balking at a condition that he not publish a book — about Trump or anyone else  — while serving the remainder of his three-year criminal sentence on home confinement.
More: CNBC

Mary Trump followed her cordial Wednesday night interview with Stephen Colbert with a Thursday morning appearance on The View. Thanks to Meghan McCain, this one had much sharper edges.
More: The Daily Beast

Top congressional Democrats are sounding the alarm about a series of packets mailed to prominent allies of President Donald Trump — material they say is part of a foreign disinformation plot to damage former vice president Joe Biden, according to new details from a letter the lawmakers delivered to the FBI last week.
More: Politico

A Marine assigned to the military helicopter squadron responsible for transporting the president has tested positive for Covid-19, a Marine Corps spokesperson told POLITICO.
More: Politico

"REQUEST YOUR ABSENTEE BALLOT TODAY," reads a mailer sent to North Carolina Republicans earlier this week by the North Carolina Trump Victory campaign, the Trump campaign's joint field operation with the Republican National Committee in the state. The mailer, part of a push to contact more than three million voters in the state, calls voting by mail "easy and secure," and urges recipients to use the "Official Republican Party Absentee Ballot Application to safely and securely request your ballot."
More The Daily Beast

In his return to coronavirus briefings after a hiatus of nearly three months, President Donald Trump has argued less with reporters, stuck more to his prepared texts and adopted a more somber speaking voice. 

But he has continued one of the staples of his briefing room appearances in March and April: downplaying the pandemic in ways that do not match reality.
More: CNN

During his first coronavirus press briefing in nearly three months, President Donald Trump said his administration had filled every single request it has received from the nation's governors for supplies to battle the coronavirus. But contrary to Trump's claim, officials in 13 states told ABC News they still have requests pending for critical equipment as the virus spreads through much of the country.
More: ABC News




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